Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
