Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
