so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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