Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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