one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
