He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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