just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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