I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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