Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
