i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
