**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize