so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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