May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
