i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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