So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
