my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
