He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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