Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
