we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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