she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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