Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
