I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
