I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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