the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
