I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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