3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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