you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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