What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Randomize