it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
