so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Your penis caused this!
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