if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
