How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
where are you?
Hypothermia
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
