I want to walk on stilts...naked
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize