Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize