The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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