I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
