don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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