she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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