you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
