Soap is not a condiment
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
