i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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