I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
