Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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