Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
