Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
