I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
