The maid of honor just puked.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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