Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
