They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
