Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
home. puking in laundry basket.
two words: eviction party
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
