Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
