we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
