It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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