cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
