I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize