I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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