About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You've changed since you got that strap on
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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