If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize