If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
