Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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