is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize